Thursday, January 10, 2008
omgg i don't know what is wrong with my blog but now the tagbaord is gone! :( i want to scold vulgarities alr. zzzz...
why is it like that? like sometimes you feel your life to be fun and exciting and at other times you feel like it's just super rubbish. and no matter how many people are out there for you, you're still pretty much alone. i wonder how many people feel like this.
i never used to think much about being alone, lonely whatever else but now having a long break and having no homework to do and nothing to study, i start feeling all of it. besides never thinking about it before, i've never felt it before too. so why?
is it because i'm going to be considered an adult after this year and i still do not know what i want to do? and many people have asked me what i want to study and i said i don't know. i really don't know. how come everyone knows?
thanks douya by the way for these few days by always being there for me when i'm upset. really appreciate it :) sorry to bother you. but as i said, sometimes i feel like telling someone rather than writing down in my personal diary because such inanimate objects can't give you any reply or reaction.
and surprisingly when you're in a relationship you tend to feel a lot weaker. or maybe only me. i kind of dislike that feeling. no wonder moppy ever once told me before why the grass is always greener on the other side.
i can't believe i really couldn't wake up today to send my brother off i'm really very pissed at myself. what the hell was i doing? even though his return proved that he had much less time for me or make that hardly or never, i still miss him now. someone please return my brother to me. the one who came back the last trip who had time for me.
you know sometimes i really dislike my parents because they are so obviously bias. they always scold me for the most stupid reasons they would never scold my bro and i end up crying like some small kid. i hate it okay. i really do. that's why i'm starting to think it sucks to stay at home. i hate that feeling of crumbling when i'm crying and i know that i cannot change the situation. my parents just love me less.
i think i talk too much. but it should be okay right since afterall this is my blog for me to look back on in future.
okay i have to be positive. today i'm going to meet eugene and dawn and saturday i'm going to meet a small group of them too.
love you like a sister;
12:26 am
